Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Corporate Lessons

A quick post here, an e-mail that I just received that is worth sharing,

Corporate Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Corporate Lesson 2


A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologised, "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Corporate Lesson 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.


Corporate Lesson 4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.


Corporate Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Corporate Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there miserably in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. the dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy.
Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend and when you're in deep crap, it's best to keep your mouth shut.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Advice From Bill Gates

A Mail I Received That Is Worth Sharing.

Subject: 11 Rules from Bill Gates

To anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice. Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically-correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world. Love him or hate him, he sure hit the nail on the head with this.

Rule 1:

Life is not fair - get used to it.

Rule 2:

The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world
will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you
feel good about yourself.

Rule 3:

You will not make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4:

If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5:

Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.

Rule 6:

If you mess up, it's not your parent's fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7:

Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they now are. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites your parent's generation created, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8:

Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This does not bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9:

Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10:

Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11:

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you can read this - thank a teacher.
IF you're not in jail or on the street - thank your parents.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

RM1,299 Flushed Away

Greetings everyone,

How was your weekend spent? Mine was pretty good as now I can say that I am a proud owner of a Zara Man’s leather jacket. As I will be going to the UK shortly, I needed some winter clothing and with the allowance that I was given, I totally blew it. It is the most expensive piece of clothing that I have bought even the shop-a-holic girls at work was shock to hear of my purchase. Curious on how it looks like, check the picture below.



My Zara Leather Jacket

My Zara Leather Jacket



Now, tell me if it is worth it or not? I believe people will say that you can get much more stuff for that amount of money or there are cheaper leather jackets. Whatever people’s opinion are, I knew that I had no regrets when I swiped my credit card.

The main reason I got it was because of the smart formal look and I was convince by a friend’s opinion when she was there.

Now, shortly after, I headed down to Cineleisure to catch a flick which was Flushed Away. I was surprise to see that there was something different from the trailer as I believe seeing Roody (If I got the name correct), which was the posh Mouse living in Kensington having two butlers. My sister realized the same thing as well. Maybe the producers decided to make a last minute modifications before the release.

This movie was brought to you by the same gang that gave us the claymation Wallace and Gromit’s The Curse of The Were Rabbit.

Any how, it was a good movie as the story was very original and it might be the best animation of the year so far. Speaking about computer generated animations this year, this possibly might be my favorite in the sense of the originality of its story line. Just a reminder of some other animation that was release this year, Disney’s The Wild, Disney’s Car, Over the Hedge, Monster’s House and what is to come, Nickelodeon’s Barnyard.

I am planning to catch Happy Feet this Wednesday as I have heard good reviews about it so far. So we will see how that goes.

And 1 last thing, I spend the two days stuffing myself which explains why my face is so puffed up and now I need to work out the whole week. (Planning to work extra hard on tomorrow’s Body Combat lessons)

Until next time, take care.

Benny Ong

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

New Recruitment Method

An e-mail received that is worth sharing.

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed
room with an open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze
the situation.


If they are counting the bricks.
*Put them in the accounts department.*

If they are recounting them..
*Put them in auditing.*

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
*Put them in engineering.*

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.
*Put them in planning.*

If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
*Put them in operations.*

If they are sleeping.
*Put them in security.*

If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
*Put them in information technology.*

If they are sitting idle.
*Put them in human resources.*

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet
not a brick has been moved.
*Put them in sales.*

If they have already left for the day.
*Put them in marketing.*

If they are staring out of the window.
*Put them on strategic planning.*


And then last but not least.


If they are talking to each other and not a single brick
has been moved.

***Congratulate them and put them in top management***

Thursday, November 09, 2006

BTA Graduation + Bowling With The Bosses

Today is the graduation of the first wave of BTAs (Business Technology Associates) which I am part of but the only difference is that I am in the second batch. My graduation will be in May or June next year.

The graduation is the celebration of 38 BTAs that was absorbed as permanent staff. Following the long list of events in my office, this is meant to be the last of the lot. I arrive in the office as early as I can after last nights late gala dinner.

We were told in earlier communication to dress up formal as we had the Minister of Human Resource, Datuk Fong Chan On (Don’t know if I spelled the name correctly) present.

The day revealed as planned and as usual, there would be free food throughout the day and this time around catered by Le Meridien.


Picture of Sih Wei & Me

Sih Wei The Usher & Me


The graduation also coincides with the grand opening of GSD’s Lifestyle Center called Chillz@8. It was also announce to us that we will be getting monthly subsidy of RM150 to spend in our cafeteria for food.

I rushed out of the office to get the bowling event with my department leadership team sorted out. Bowling was to replace the paintball match that has to be cancelled because of poor weather conditions.


The Whole Gang

The Team at The Bowling Event



My team won the bowling after three consecutive games with a lead of 39 points. A very close margin I would say which translates to about two strikes back to back. The most important thing was that everyone seems to have had heaps of fun.

We later proceed to Avanti at Sunway Resort Hotel for dinner which I had the chef’s recommendation of Sea Bass. Dinner lasted till about nine when most of them need to leave for the airport.

I continued by visiting another group at Flam’s before calling it a day.

Benny Ong XXX

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Gala Dinner & BoB Awards

Finally, the night that everyone was waiting for has arrived. It is GSD’s first ever Gala Dinner with a Best of the Best (BoB) Awards presentation. Well, my company decided to have this event align with the earlier mentioned Zone Meeting.


Picture With The Bosses

Picture With the Leadership Team


It was the talk among my group for weeks when it was first made known and we were discussing about what to wear. I might sound a bit vein here but I pressure myself to dress up well as a majority of global staff was around. I definitely wanted to project myself as an image conscious person. I did not know how I look to others but I am pleased with what I wore.

It was a Victorian shirt that I bought when I was working in H&M Knightsbridge accompanied with a suit from G2000.


Gajana With Red Hair!

Look at Gajana with Red Hair


One major thing worth remembering of the night is how everyone managed to leave the meeting which ended late and get ready on time for the dinner. I especially salute the girls for being able to even get their hair done for the night.

It was no disappointment for everyone who did so as everyone look amazing in their suit, tux and gown. The theme of the evening was a masquerade which I kept visualizing of the movie Casanova.

The evening began with a violinist followed by a singer with a live band. Appetizers were served followed by the main course which then the awards were given away. I am not nominated this time but am pretty sure that I will make an appearance in the list of nominees next time around.


James Bond Pose

James Bond Pose


The awards ended and it was announced that it was also my companies head of HR’s birthday where the crowd started singing the birthday song. I wondered how he felt?

The young bunch (of course me and the gang) started to convert the stage into a dance floor where we dance the night away.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

DJ Benny Ong

Greetings all,

Today, I spent the whole day at Sunway Convention center manning the GSD radio booth for the Zone Meeting (Something like an annual meeting) and this is what I will be doing for two days with the exception of tomorrow where I will be a participant as well.

GSD radio is an initiative in my company to reach out to the staff and the BAT group about what our company is working on and what we are all about. There are currently four episodes featuring interviews with top management on life after work and the latest happenings. It is broadcast bi-monthly in the internally within BAT.

I was told to help out on taking care of the booth past midnight on Friday which I did not hesitate at all to do so as it can help to add variety to my work life. It is also a great opportunity for me to learn something about event management.

My colleagues stayed to help me till past midnight the day before to decorate the booth. Although it looks simple in the picture, lots of effort was put into it but I am glad everything turned out pretty fine.


Dj Benny Ong

GSD Radio Booth


BTW, if you haven’t notice, I wore Red Shoes and a matching top to go with the theme and the logo of GSD radio.

To spice things up, there was a competition to win Ipod shuffles.

That’s all for now and this is just the start to a busy busy week!

Adios…..!

Benny Ong XXX

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Loy Krathong

Today, I participated in the Loy Krathong festival together with my loving mum and sister in Chettawan Buddhist Temple at Jalan Gasing. Loy Krathong is a Thai water lantern festival celebrated on the full moon of the 12th lunar month of the Thai calendar. It is a day to pay homage to the Goddess of Water for providing seafood for the whole year and also to apologize for pollution caused to the water.



Mum + sis + me


My Mum, My Sis + Me


You might be curious on how I would have got myself involve in such a celebration. Well, I was there a week ago when a lady seating over the counter at the entrance of the main shrine has some decorative flower pieces with price tags of RM 10, 20 and 30. Being me, I asked what it was about and it was totally what I had in mind. I remembered hearing about this celebration when I was much younger and never had a chance to participate in it.

I asked for a RM10 float where I was given a ticket with the number 75 for me to proceed to a hall downstairs where there were shelves and shelves of the floats. There was a keeper which brought me to the section with floats of my purchased value where I was asked to select one of my choice pictured below. I took ownership by proudly sticking a flag with my name on it.



My Loy Krathong Float


My Loy Krathong Float


I arrived at the Temple at after enduring the heavy showers. I collected my lantern and proceed to a hall with a small raised platform in the front where there were eight throw pillows on it with a Buddha shrine on the left side. I took a seat on the matted floor and chatted away before the monks started to arrive and filled up the eight spots.

The chants began at approximately half past eight and lasted just a little bit above half an hour. The fun thing was I can understand the instructions as the monk was speaking Hokkien. I can’t confirm whether it was a Thai dialect with similarities to Hokkien or he was indeed speaking the language.



Me & my Lighted Float


After Lighting up the candle and joss sticks


The procession started later with a huge crowd walking towards a nearby lake passing through a housing area. This is where we release our lanterns into the water. It was certainly a beautiful sight to see hundreds of work of art floating randomly on the surface.

I left that night feeling contented and it was a symbolism of me sending away bad luck.

That’s all for now and let me see what event I will be crashing into next time.

Take care!!!

Benny Ong